If someone told me a month or even a week ago that I would be pregnant in March I would've either gone legally insane or they wouldn't be my friend anymore. Well, here is March 1st, and I'm still pregnant. (Don't worry, though. I have not lost my mind (yet) and all my friends are still in tact.) The ironic thing is that there were sooo many days in February to hit: Feb.11 Our Lady of Lourdes, Feb. 14 Valentine's Day, Feb. 18 my dad's birthday, Feb. 21 the full moon AND lunar eclipse, Feb. 23 my parents' 28th wedding anniversary, Feb. 26 my sister's 21st bday and grandpa's bday, and even leap day on Feb. 29!!!
Either this baby is stubborn, too comfortable, or just wants his or her own special day.
This past week has been filled with many ups and downs. And God has surely put me in my place because of it. A while ago I was so sure that if I went over my due date I'd wait patiently, filling my time with pottery and movies. Well, the pottery and movies part is true, but the patient part is not. The funny thing is that I'm still pretty comfortable - last night I even slept for 10 hours! It's just all the unknowns that, until this week, I felt really prepared for. I knew that labor and delivery wouldn't go exactly as planned, but I had geared up so much for how I pictured it would go in my head. The other thing throwing me for a loop is that all signs of imminent labor are there - big contractions and all. It's just, for some reason, God and this baby have conversed and decided it's not quite time yet - even after Michael and I climbed the Stadium Bowl stairs.
When my doctor told me last week that come Monday, March 3rd, if this baby hasn't arrived yet I need to be induced, I of course went through all the emotions. I trust my doctor a lot, yet I felt like things had failed in some way. As mentioned before, I know that a lot of people are praying for us, and maybe I thought, deep down, all these prayers meant things would be "easy." Boy, was I wrong!
After spending a lot of time thinking and in prayer this week I realized that God still has His hand over our child and the process in which he or she will enter this world. It is not up to me to ask "why" but rather to rely on true faith. For, true faith is Hebrews 11:1 - being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
I was also strengthened by James 1:2-6
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
We are truly blessed to even be able to have a child, that I shouldn't be so selfish as to want everything to go my way. And I am sure that God' Providence will show through both now and later.
I guess the other bright side is, now that it's March, baby Mauss gets to join daddy in sharing a birthday month!
update pic of me and baby at 41 weeks