May 2, 2008

the grass is (not) always greener

It sure is a feat that I am able to type this post with both hands! Avila is now sleeping somewhat contently in her swing, which is another feat in and of itself. She has been napping so poorly lately, and up until now has protested to being anywhere other than mommy's arms. But she is growing up day by day and these difficult first months will be a memory before we know it.

It's funny how we label babies: easy, fussy, difficult, etc, etc, etc. I guess if I were to label Avila she would be "high maintenance" (as would be most, I'm sure!). This certainly is not a negative term, as it simply indicates she needs more snuggles than some babies. We've had our fair share of learning curves, struggles, joys, impatient moments, laughs, and amazement these past 2 months. And looking back on it all, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I've been contemplating this for a while now, and I can honestly say that I am at a place in my life where, for the first time, the grass is beautifully green on my side of the fence. This isn't to say my life is better than anyone else's, but rather to say I am content with my life exactly the way it is.

There are so many moments in life when we receive both good gifts and difficult gifts from the Lord and yet wish we had something different. When I was in high school, I couldn't wait for college. When I was in college I couldn't wait to meet "Mr. Right." When I met "Mr. Right" I couldn't wait to get married. When I got married I couldn't wait to have babies. Well, now that I do have a baby I am stopped dead in my tracks before I can wish for the next thing or even wish for life as it was before Avila was born. Suddenly everything seems right just as it is. Sure, it'd be great to have the time with Michael we had before. It'd be great to travel more and be more adventurous. It'd also be great to not have this baby pooch. But even though those things would be nice I don't find myself peering over the fence wishing for them. I am content with the place God has me now and the grass below me, speckled with both beauty and the occasional weed, is looking pretty dang good.

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