August 25, 2008

I'm back!

Well...I'm me again! After a month of being on a little pill for PPD, of which I am not the least bit guilty for taking, I am finally back to my old self! I guess I didn't realize how down I was until I started feeling better. Instead of being dreary and the challenges never-ending, life is full of hope and joy and peace once again.

Depression is an interesting thing. Until it was identified in me I simply thought I had become a pessimistic, quick to anger person whose problem was that she was not allowing God to use her as he wished. I felt very sinful, yet unable to climb out of the sinful actions I thought myself to be committing. Nothing helped - not confession nor prayer nor sacrifices and endless promises to God. But once I realized that I had become someone else, it started making sense why I was doing and saying things unlike anything I had done before.

About two weekends ago I felt the clouds had lifted and I spent an entire day smiling! My joy for life has returned and I wake up each morning and go to bed each night grateful. God is so good and I know he has heard all the prayers from the people who've sent them His way on my behalf. Being a mom, although still challenging at times, is great and I am looking forward to the days and weeks ahead and all that God desires to bring my way.

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