The past few nights I have woken up in the middle of the night and been haunted once again by the truths of abortion. After I wrote my last post, I spent over an hour stumbling through interconnected abortion blogs written by people who work at Planned Parenthood, actual abortion doctors, and even one about the story of a young woman's step-by-step experience of having an abortion. During the nights when I wake up, I find myself spending much time in prayer - not only for the people I saw on "the other side" but also because this "other side" has unlocked, for me, an element of evil I had never encountered before.
I have always been sensitive to the spiritual realm. When all my friends played "white witch," "light as a feather, stiff as a board," and the Quiji Board at sleepovers I sat out every time because I was too uncomfortable to participate. I have never been able to watch scary movies - not to mention the "demonic" type ones - and even CSI has become too much for me! I can always tell when I am being spiritually "attacked" and when others are, as well. So I guess it doesn't surprise me how affected I am after what I keep uncovering about the world of abortion. But in another way, it does. When I am actually looking at pictures or reading things I of course am shocked, however it's not until when I least expect it that it hits me.
If there is anything truly and blatantly evil in this world, it has to be abortion. The justification of killing another based on whatever motive - no matter how well rationalized - comes from a foundation of evil, as God is the author of life and Satan the author of death. The purpose, the meaning, of life is to make it to Heaven. This is why we are created - not only to know, love, and serve God is this lifetime, but to be with Him in the next. If you hated God and all things from Him, where would you spend your time fighting? Satan goes right to the core and not only tries to steer living souls away from God but he also tries to prevent souls from being created in the first place - hence contraception and, if that fails, taking the life all together through abortion.
What my experience these past couple weeks has taught me is not to shy away from the truth of knowing and exposing the evils of abortion, but rather to make sure my prayer life is in good swing. Unlocking this whole new world will for sure bring focus and attention from the Evil One who longs to keep the blindfolds on our eyes, however, with the weapon of prayer (I always grab my rosary when I wake up during the night...) he has no chance of winning.
Last night during my awake time, I couldn't help but think of women who have had abortions. And for the first time, my heart really broke for them. It wasn't a sorrow of pity but rather it was like I had an ever so small taste of their experience - being almost unaffected during the actual event (in my case the reading) and taken off guard by the sorrow and pain at an unpredictable moment. I truly hurt for them and pray that God will use their pain to draw them closer to Him, to seek forgiveness, and to know they are loved. The awesome thing about God is that death is not the end. Life will always prevail - if not now, than for all eternity. God is able to take the most twisted things and use them for good, and I ask Him to use us for that good.
Some of the sites I checked out (except for the one documenting the abortion):
I am Emily X
I am Dr. Tiller