May 13, 2014

when your heart walks outside your body and all that jazz

They say having kids is like having your heart outside of your body at all times. And in my case today my heart was on a scooter flying down the sidewalk in avoidance of me catching said toddler heart and discipling the crap out of him because he wanted to out run mommy. Good thing mama knows how to run. I got an applause from some neighbors and random moving truck people once this troublemaker was caught and, needless to say, my heart is banned from scooters for a while.

But in all seriousness, this motherhood thing is crazy business. I mean, to have little people who are my world, entrusted to my care is daunting at times. It's scary and overwhelming and beautiful and messy and fun and soooo not fun all at the same time. And nothing like Mother's Day to bring that all to mind.

This Mother's Day my heart (talking about my own heart this time, not "my kids" as "my heart" aaaahhhhh confused already) was all over the place. I was grateful for my children and what I am charged with, blessed with on a daily basis. I felt this odd reminder that everyday is kind of like groundhog's day for the next like 18 years. I missed our little Gabriel whom we never got to meet and I needed my grandma who wrapped her arms around me from Heaven (with Gabriel at her side). I was overjoyed at the fact that I get to live a life of raising and forming these special little people. All of that emotion in one day (spilling over to the next) and no wonder I'm exhausted from crying.

(Crying people. I never cry. Too much estrogen. Does that mean I'm having a girl?????????)

But anyway, I look at my kids and I see, I feel my own heart beating outside of my body and I know I wouldn't have it any other way. They give me my meaning, my reason for existing and loving and serving in this world. And they're pretty darn cute, too.

1 comment:

Kelsey said...

You're a beautiful mama, sis! One day I hope to be as great as a mom as you are..God willingly! Keep on charging on :)